Over the last few days I have noticed a number of blogs and postings in various places about 2010 and the experiences of the writer's of those comments.
When I look back, as I'm sure we all do at this time of year, I tend to reflect on what has happened during the year, what effect the year has had on me and on those members of my family and my friends.
It occurred to me that rather than the lessons learnt; perhaps we should try and compare ourselves today against ourselves one year ago.
• Has anything happened that has fundamentally changed the way we think or act?
• Has our character been modified by any of the events of the closing year?
• Do other people we know see us in a different light perhaps?
• Have people around us had to change to manage our changes (if any)?
My wife Clare, a friend of ours and myself talked about this very subject last night. Clare made a remark about how different I was to the man she married twenty two years ago. We reflected on what I was like and how I had changed. After that period of time it is much easier to see the changes that we go through.
• Then (apparently) I tended to be irrational!
• Then (apparently) I was much grumpier than I am now.
• Then (apparently) I was much more demanding than I am now!
• Then (apparently) I was much (much) more unreasonable than I am now!
Of course, I am only joking (apparently), but later, privately reflecting on the conversation, I guess I have changed a great deal. Those changes are as a result of the process we call maturing. Our sharp edges are worn down by the continual bombardment of life. Our brain slows down and we react less quickly, if indeed at all. We become less grumpy (as there seems little point as no one is listening anymore to our humps and grumps!)
Applying this process over a shorter period such as a year is much more difficult. This is partly because it is so new and that admitting any fault is like admitting that you still have that fault.
However, some years hold events that do make a huge difference. Those events can be nothing to one person yet change the life of another. My experience of a suspected heart attack then being diagnosed with bowel cancer, surviving major surgery, and suffering the horrible side affects of chemotherapy has had an effect on my life this year, leaving a huge scar. A death of a family member recently added to the pain and the complications of a troubled childbirth by one of my daughters just piled it on even more.
But what is more important is the way that my six children, my ten grandchildren, brother, sister, mother, wife, in-laws (some anyway) and friends have supported me (and each other) not just while I was ill, and during this period of recovery, but by the way our attitude as a family unit has changed. It has brought us much closer together; it has made other things seem less important, whilst unimportant things of the past are now more important.
If one year can change us so much, maybe reflecting on each month, week or even day is a worthwhile thing to do.
• Have we upset someone today?
• Did we act in a proper and respectful manner?
• Could we have done something better?
• Did we listen and did we hear?
All these reflections and many others can only result in small lessons being learnt that can be applied each and every day in the future. Maturity is not just about getting older and wiser; it is also about using that knowledge we have gained to better our lives and lives of others.
Whilst 2010 might not have been a great year for me or indeed for you or anyone else, let us at least learn what we can and apply it in 2011 and I trust that this new year will bring many more blessing and even further maturity.
Happy New Year!
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